Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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