Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
