Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
