omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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