not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
they need to just BURY HIM!
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Randomize
