Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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