i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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