I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
