EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Send help, water and tortillas.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
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