Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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