I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
