she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
