with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
