chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize
