make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
