Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
