Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
