omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
it wasn't lemon gatorade
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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