We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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