I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
