nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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