I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
