he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
