she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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