I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
only if we run a train.
done.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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