my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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