I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
