is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
