ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
