Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
