Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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