I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
