My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
