Walk of Shame. In a state park.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
