How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
