it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
no, he came in my armpit
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
