Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
