I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize