she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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