is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
