i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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