Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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