When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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