Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
