he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
