wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
