I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
