i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
