I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Let's get the cat blown out
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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