No, drunk sperm still make babies.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
