Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
