I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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